We just passed the fall equinox, about a week ago. One of two times a year in which the day and night are equal. It’s a time to focus on balance within our lives. The challenge for me is that… Read moreAn Excess of Grief During this Time of Balance

On the day the world endsthe sky is bright bluewith a sharp chill in the airand little songbirds hopping around the window ledge One the day the world endsI wear my pajama pants and sweatshirtwith red, tired eyeshair sticking up… Read moreOn the day the world ends

I mentioned in my last post that I don’t particularly want to focus on being grateful right now… I felt compelled to write a post specifically about that, because not a day goes by when I don’t see something on… Read moreGratitude

Some of us make our own light… despite the harsh electric lights around us, or the hot light of the sun, or the white light of the moon, we are always in darkness. The heavy cloak of grief that I… Read moreA different kind of light

I’ve never been a particularly sentimental person. I have a few mementos from my youth and my college experience, but not many. I’ve been more of an “in the moment” or “thinking about the future” type person. But these days,… Read moreCalling myself back

in my eyes, becomes the night. My soul feels connected to the night time much stronger than before, before I was plunged into this bizarre alternate reality, surrounded with grief. Night time is full of shadow – not cast by… Read moreNighttime Relief

…what happens when you return? Returning home after the death of a loved one who lives – lived – in that home with you is something that a million words couldn’t fully capture. I didn’t go home until the day… Read moreWhen You Return

How can they say we’ve failed? We went to so many doctor appointments (Between 10 and 15), 3 hospitalizations, 6 chemo sessions (which lasted 6-8 hours each), 10 radiation sessions, so many different scans, 2 surgeries… we saw SO MANY… Read moreWe did not fail

These are not just words. The words I share, the story I share, is not just any story. I’ve always had a bit of a writer in me and had daydreams about publishing but I always imagined that if I… Read moreThe Story of Now

While the majority of 2019 was difficult for us, if I had to pinpoint when it was worst, when from moment to moment I didn’t know how I could possibly survive, it would have to be Sara’s last day in… Read moreTime Traveling

How I consume and process other people’s stories has changed, since 2019 happened. Things impact me differently than they used to before. It’s not that sad and/or tragic stories didn’t make me feel something before, but now I hear or… Read moreAn Unwanted Connection

How do we come to be here next to each otherin the night Every time I arrive home, and every night when I finish getting ready for bed, an electric current runs across my skin and for just a second,… Read morePossibility of You

A month ago (almost exactly) I wrote a post about the numbers and how they no longer bring me comfort. This week I found myself faced with a prompt about the math of grief – so today I will write… Read moreThe Math of Grief

It has been a while – weeks (a month?) since I’ve completed a prompt-based writing. I feel my grief so much, but I look at the prompts and the words just don’t want to form. They get stuck in my… Read moreThe Silence, The Trembling

This week’s prompt has me revisiting something that I wrote about from a different angle earlier this year. In February I wrote about a wish I had for all of us who find ourselves in this darkness of forced change… Read moreRevisiting Caterpillar Goo

“All the colors of the world pass through our bodies like strings of fire.” From Colors passing through us by Marge Piercy  Sara brought so much color to my life – she was my rainbow mermaid! It took her a long… Read moreBrown Birkenstocks

Death doesn’t prevent me from loving you. I loved you from the moment I knewYou were growing within me…We celebrated when you transitionedfrom Embryo to Fetus. Every milestone, every eventWe celebrated with love.We talked to you,Talked about you,Planned for your… Read moreDissonance

I’m sorry that you’ve lost a child, or children. This is a club no one should ever have to belong to. It goes against the natural order of the universe; parents are not supposed to outlive their children. I speak… Read moreA Letter to Newly Bereaved Parents

Of course time is running out. It always has been the waves crashing against the shore, shifting thousands, maybe millions of grains of sand with each pulse of the tide, creating erosion and forcing change. It has been the inevitability… Read moreThe After

A recent writing prompt really did not resonate with me. It’s about the question “how could you leave like that?” – the experience of having that sort of question aimed at our dead loved one(s) as part of our grief,… Read moreAnother question