2019 Sucked: My Thoughts on Loss, Grief, and Life After
It is 9:20 am, and I have only cried twice today – not bad. In the just over 9 months since George’s delivery and just under 7 months since Sara’s death I feel like I’ve cried my bodyweight in tears… Read moreThe cadence of tears
“All the colors of the world pass through our bodies like strings of fire.” From Colors passing through us by Marge Piercy Sara brought so much color to my life – she was my rainbow mermaid! It took her a long… Read moreBrown Birkenstocks
Death doesn’t prevent me from loving you. I loved you from the moment I knewYou were growing within me…We celebrated when you transitionedfrom Embryo to Fetus. Every milestone, every eventWe celebrated with love.We talked to you,Talked about you,Planned for your… Read moreDissonance
I’m sorry that you’ve lost a child, or children. This is a club no one should ever have to belong to. It goes against the natural order of the universe; parents are not supposed to outlive their children. I speak… Read moreA Letter to Newly Bereaved Parents
I wish I had a filter for social media to hide all of the “Choose Happiness” type posts right now. You know what I’m talking about… the things that say there’s always people/things/events in life that don’t go the way… Read moreOn “Choosing” Happiness
Of course time is running out. It always has been the waves crashing against the shore, shifting thousands, maybe millions of grains of sand with each pulse of the tide, creating erosion and forcing change. It has been the inevitability… Read moreThe After
I don’t know how to feel about Mother’s Day this year. It was supposed to have been Sara’s first Mother’s Day with our son, George. Although I was pregnant on Mother’s Day (and Father’s Day) last year, we didn’t celebrate… Read moreA Different Kind of Mother’s Day
A recent writing prompt really did not resonate with me. It’s about the question “how could you leave like that?” – the experience of having that sort of question aimed at our dead loved one(s) as part of our grief,… Read moreAnother question
I’ve got a prompt sitting in my unused prompts folder that’s actually one I’d done before (and was sent out again), asking me to check in on the condition of my heart. Last time I wrote about my heart as… Read moreRevisiting the condition of my heart
Tragedy. Acceptance. Grief. Pain. Love. I know some people want to ask “Why?” when tragedy happens. I’m not talking about culpability for events surrounding the tragedy (if there is culpability to be found), but rather the bigger picture existential question…. Read moreBigger Questions