Week 20: The Delivery of George Daniel Thompson
This week our hearts broke wide open – I’ve never known pain like this before. On the evening of Monday, August 12th I went into early labor that progressed to quickly to stop. Our little baby boy arrived in the early morning of August 13th after about 4 hours of labor. He was stillborn, having passed sometime before delivery that night.
I had gone into the hospital around 8pm on the 12th with what I thought were just cramps from constipation but wanted to be safe. Earlier that morning I’d had some super light spotting, but the nurse I spoke to said to just keep an eye on it because I didn’t have any other concerning symptoms. By the time I was getting home from work, I noticed I was having regular cramps – regular in that they were happening frequently, not so much that they were always the same length apart. It didn’t even occur to me that they could be contractions.
While we were waiting to be seen, I wasn’t too concerned. We’d already had 4 good ultrasounds and 2 other visits where we heard the heartbeat over the course of the pregnancy, so I wasn’t too worried.
They did an ultrasound and there everything looked okay. The baby had a heartbeat, and was an appropriate size based on his head. However, when they examined me, they quickly saw that there were membranes coming out of my cervix, which shouldn’t have been the case. They called someone from obgyn to come down for a consult and we waited 30-45 minutes for that.
When the obgyn consult came down, she did a vaginal ultrasound to look at the cervix, did another exam and took some swabs for tests. At that point she paged her supervisor to come down. She told us that the situation was very serious; that in some cases a stitch can be put into the cervix to keep a pregnancy in place, but that it may not be an option for us. I’d been in the hospital for over 3 hours at that point, between the time it took for the check in, the initial exam, the consult & all the waiting. During all that time, my contractions had continued, though they were still sporadic and anywhere from 4 to 10 minutes apart.
Around 11:30-11:45 pm, my water broke. We were still in the emergency room, but they were trying to get us in to a room in labor & delivery where we would talk about our options. However, the most likely scenario at that point was that I would be delivering our baby. Once my water broke, the contractions actually seemed to calm down. We didn’t end up getting settled into a room upstairs until almost 1 am. I called my mom and the doula while we were waiting, to let them know what was going on. One of the doulas offered to join us at the hospital, but Sara and I decided we just wanted to be alone together to process everything.
Once we were settled in labor & delivery and spoke to the doctor, we had a few options: wait and see if labor progressed without any intervention, undergo a medical procedure to end the pregnancy and remove the baby, or take medication to induce and go through the labor & delivery process. If we waited then there was a chance we would be able to talk to the high risk doctors int he morning about possible options for saving the pregnancy, but Sara and I didn’t feel that was a reasonable option for us given how early it was and that my water had already broken.
I couldn’t bear going the medical procedure route (as it would mean we couldn’t see the baby after), so we decided to go through labor & deliver with induction. After the induction things picked up quickly and my contractions started getting stronger and more painful/long lasting. They tried giving me some dilaudid pain medication, but it must made me dizzy and didn’t really help with the pain. The contractions were getting ery painful and given the circumstances I ended up agreeing to an epidural around 3:15am. While I was waiting & getting positioned for them to administer it, the pain got so bad that I started vomiting. Luckily my stomach was empty except for water.
They had some trouble with the epidural, probably because I was in so much pain it was hard to do exactly what they were asking of me. Eventually they were able to get the local anesthetic into my spine, but before they were able to administer the actual epidural, I hit the point in my labor where the baby’s delivery was imminent. Shortly after the anesthesiologist stepped away, I felt pressure and the baby was coming out. They guided him out the rest of the way and placed him in a blanket.
Sara and I both got to hold our son, who we named George Daniel Thompson. He was so tiny, but bigger than we expected – about 9 inches long. He weighted between 9 and 10 ounces. We gazed into his face and he was just so beautiful and perfect. His facial features and fingernails and toenails were formed. His eyes were closed and he didn’t have any hair that we could see. We didn’t keep him long, but we treasured the few minutes that we did spend with him. We were just so exhausted and hurting so much – emotionally and, for me, physically. I had no physical complications – the placenta delivered after they administered some more medication. Later in the morning they moved us into a postpartum room, and we stayed at the hospital until early afternoon when I was released.
The hospital staff and doctors were all wonderful, which helped keep an already traumatic experience from being any worse. We got to see one of the midwives that morning after delivery who spent some time with us and helped make sure our discharge went smoothly.
We arranged George’s cremation a few days after we got out of the hospital, and we will also be retrieving pictures of George next week that the perinatal loss coordinator at the hospital took for us. We left the hospital with some keepsakes including his little hat, some baby blankets they used for him , and some hand/footprint cards.
Sara and I called family & a few friends the morning of the 13th to let them know what happened, and then we posted notifications on social media letting our larger circle of friends know.
Sara’s Facebook post (Aug 13, 2019 at 6:45 PM): With great sadness, I have to announce that our baby was delivered stillborn this morning, at just shy of 20 weeks. We were able to hold him, and he was beautiful. We named him George Daniel Thompson. Trent is physically OK, but we are both devastated. We are grateful for all of our family and friends we know will support us through this and everything else that is challenging us this year.
Trent’s Facebook post (Aug 13, 2019 at 6:44 PM): Sara and I are heartbroken to announce that our son, George Daniel Thompson, was stillborn at 4:11am this morning, August 13th after about 4 hours of labor. We had the opportunity to hold him and say goodbye. He was beautiful, about 9 inches long and 9 oz, at about 19.5 weeks along. George was very loved and very wanted, and we are going to need some time to heal from this. We are so grateful for the many friends and family who love us and who we know will be supporting us through this just as you all have through everything else we have been facing this year.