2019 Sucked: My Thoughts on Loss, Grief, and Life After
Dear George, My beautiful boy, my son. Somehow it has been a full year since you entered and left this world all at once. It has been the worst year of my life, trying to process your death, then losing… Read moreA 1-year letter to George
Hope
Hope is a funny thing
When at one point
It was ripped from my soul
I have several unwritten prompts sitting in my inbox, but I don’t find myself drawn to any of them right now. Instead I find myself thinking about the fact that tomorrow is father’s day in the US. It is (was… Read moreBeing a Bereaved Father on Father’s Day
When I wake up tomorrow, it will have been 7 months since Sara died. 213 days. Just over a month until her birthday (she’s supposed to be turning 43) and then another month until the anniversary of George’s stillbirth, and… Read moreThe Numbers Game
It is 9:20 am, and I have only cried twice today – not bad. In the just over 9 months since George’s delivery and just under 7 months since Sara’s death I feel like I’ve cried my bodyweight in tears… Read moreThe cadence of tears
I don’t know how to feel about Mother’s Day this year. It was supposed to have been Sara’s first Mother’s Day with our son, George. Although I was pregnant on Mother’s Day (and Father’s Day) last year, we didn’t celebrate… Read moreA Different Kind of Mother’s Day
This post originally started as a post just about George, and then it morphed. Now it’s about my grief for both Sara and George, how they’re very different types of grief. I’ve just been really heavy with grief lately –… Read moreA directionless post
I’m lying in our bed, on my side of the bed. I just changed the sheets – I miss being able to make my usual remark to you about how lovely fresh sheets are. Ember sits above my head on… Read moreBedtime Grief
Sometimes after I finish writing a blog post, I sit back and feel pleased with myself. Pleased about how I was able to express myself in words, paint a picture for whomever might be reading it. While I don’t believe… Read morePrompt 29: The Reason we are here
Red – it is not a color I have historically associated with much. It feels so bold, so strong. I’m more of a water-color person, give me some nice blues or greens any day. But now, I close my eyes… Read morePrompt 9: Red
So…. 2019 sucked. Our baby died. My wife died. I’m suddenly a widow at age 36. (Did I mention our 3rd wedding anniversary and my 36th birthday were both less than 3 weeks after Sara’s death…?) I never imagined life… Read moreWhat now?
My name is Trenton – in October 2015 I had my first in-person date with an amazing woman named Sara, who I’d met online. Right away, we knew we had something special. She and I just clicked – we complimented… Read moreIntroductory Post