One last random share for the night; the most unexpected things bring you to your knees when dealing with the loss of a close loved one. I’d been avoiding washing & putting away Sara’s half-dozen water bottles/cups/containers she had been using toward the end of her life. Sometimes I’d been annoyed at how many we had – more than fit on top of the fridge, but anything to encourage her to drink more water was ok by me. Finally last night I did it, tired of how much space they took up on the counter. (They’d been dry and had only previously had water in them – they weren’t gross!)
Part of me felt like I was washing part of her away as I watched first the soapy water and then the clean water running over/ into the cups and down the drain. Those were the last dishes in the house that her hands had touched that hadn’t yet been washed. It had to be done, but it hurt, stirring surprisingly intense emotion.
Tonight I remind myself that dishes may be sanitized and the house vacuumed and dusted and some day all of her clothes may be gone and my own cells will regenerate such that eventually, there will be no cells on my body that Sara has touched…and even then, she will still be here.
(Originally shared 12/17/2019 on Facebook)
“even then, she will still be here”
I feel this image.