Some folks have already seen this shared to Sara’s memorialized Facebook page, but I thought it was appropriate to share it here, too. This is what I shared November 11th, 2019, at the gathering to celebrate Sara’s life, held at St. Stephen’s Episcopal church in Longmont, CO.
Thanks everyone for coming to celebrate Sara’s life today. Bear with me here. I typed up what I wanted to say in advance and have practiced it a few times, but I’m still just a big mess. Words can’t express how much I appreciate the outpouring of love and support for Sara and myself. Many of you have actually known her for much longer than I did. I counted the day, and from our first date in late October 2015 to the date of her death was 1,468 days. It was such a privilege to have her in my life for that time, but it was not enough. I’m so mad that cancer took her from us. She and I had plans, and now I’ve got to figure out where to go from here. Sara gave me such a gift, though – she gave me the gift of so many of you. I never really belonged to much of a community before Sara and I met, but now I feel like her very large chosen family has become mine.
When Sara and I met online she lived in Longmont, I lived in Denver – we had our first date at a Starbucks in between. I think our second date is when I started falling in love with her; we walked through a graveyard so she could complete an assignment for a class on death and dying – we had a delightful time and found a memorial to a juggler couple who traveled the world. Afterwards we watched her favorite movie Harold & Maude, and before I left that night we had our first kiss. I fell deeper in love with her over too-many-to-count texts about random questions for each other, the volunteering she did that she loved so much, how amazing our pets were, and about the random things we found interesting in the world. We would watch tv shows together long-distance and keep a running text commentary.
I fell in love with her because of her huge heart, a heart so open and kind that she sometimes struggled with the barrage of negative news coming at her each day. I could go on and on – somehow everything that was ordinary before became magic with Sara. She was my person, I was hers, and being together was always better than not being together.
I’ve spent a lot of times thinking over the last week – while nothing and no one is perfect, and there are things I wish I would’ve done differently in that painfully short time she and I shared, one thing I do know is that she and I always knew how much we loved each other. Not a day went by that we didn’t tell each other that, and we always meant it. Because of that, I have no true regrets, and for that I am thankful.
I know many others here have stories and reflections about how awesome Sara is and how we will find a way to keep her magic and light alive. I hope you will get up and share them. It’s okay if you cry or if you hate public speaking- this isn’t really public… it’s just a room full of people who love Sara and I.
Before I turn it over, I just want to share something I stumbled across in her school documents, a short reflection she wrote on the topic of life expectancy:
There a large number of factors that affect our longevity and there are things we can and cannot control. If we want to live a longer life, we can focus on the things that we can control and try not to worry about the things we can’t. Since our social connections and support do affect our longevity, it’s important to maintain our relationships as our lives progress. Activity (exercise) is also very important! But we always have to remember that while we can improve our odds, any action that we take is no guarantee that we will live a long life – accidents happen. It’s most important to live a GOOD life, however long it may be.
Sara lived a good life, and everyone here is a testament to that.