I was faced with this question when I started my 2020 tax return. Talk about a sucker punch…
It felt like a lie, to check the “Yes” button – in the eyes of the law I’m no longer married. But in my heart? I’m 100% still Sara’s. They make it sound so casual, so simple – oh, you’re single now? Okay! We’ll delete all traces of your dead spouse.
I wish they could’ve phrased this screen differently. I’d indicated on the previous screen that my status was widowed. I filed with them in 2019 marking Sara as deceased using their software. Why did they need me to now, yet again, reaffirm my single-ness? It would have felt better if they’d used the information previously provided to at least make the question a little softer – “We’re sorry for the death of Sara – we’re required to ask you to confirm your legal marriage status for tax year 2020. Please check Yes if you are filing as single for 2020.”
*sigh* I know I’m being sensitive. I know they have to double check that I didn’t make a mistake. I know it’s a generic screen used for anytime someone goes from married to single regardless of reason. But it still hurts. This is one of those grief-bombs that just lies in wait until I step on it, and suddenly there’s fresh grief everywhere. Marking Sara as deceased on our 2019 return was painful, but filing 2020 as single without whisper of her name is even worse.
You aren’t “being sensitive”. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You have every right to be frustrated with them. It had to feel like a punch in the gut. Your feelings are 100% valid. My heart is with you. Call if ya need an ear to vent to.
Thanks <3
That’s some seriously harsh wording and sounds as if it could be easily fixed. If you are up to it, I’d encourage you to contact them. So sorry.
Thanks! <3 I might send them the feedback when I have the energy.