Wrapped up in grief like a blanket in the dark,
life right now feels so wrong.
But even in the dark we can find strength.
I’m not here to share platitudes about a greater purpose
or predestination or God’s will –
I know how those words can fall so heavy and hollow.
We are in a new reality that was not asked for,
so many plans and hopes and dreams upended.
But we are, in fact, still here.
Did you know that inside of its cocoon,
a caterpillar completely liquefies before becoming a butterfly?
Even more amazing; their consciousness and memories survive.
I’m not going to pretend that we’re each a magic butterfly
waiting to emerge from our darkness into a new happy life.
Grief will always be ready to whisper in our ears.
But I wonder, if a liquefied caterpillar turned butterfly
can retain its self, its memories,
then what else is possible?
My wish in the darkness for us all
would be that in this forced change, this trauma –
we retain that which is good and true within.
We cannot be the same as we were before,
but however we emerge,
may we not allow grief to steal our innermost selves.
Do not mistake the innermost self for the perceived ideal self;
miles apart those may be.
But, somewhere in all the goo and the darkness, is YOU.
YOU are worthy of love –
YOU are worthy of life –
YOU are worthy.
For any interested, here is a link to the Radiolab episode that discusses the liquefied caterpillars & how they tested if memories survived the goo: https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/radiolab/segments/goo-and-you