2019 Sucked: My Thoughts on Loss, Grief, and Life After
At the end of my suffering, there was a door. I did not want to go.Even after I could no longer speakor open my eyesI held on for over a day,anchored by the love surrounding me.I did not want to… Read morePrompt 22: A Message To Me
Keys and mailPlaced gently on the dining table;The sound of metal on woodCatches my attentionAnd my mind gets caught up in a wave.I remember buying that table,Our first significant purchase for our home.The mosaic in the center – Eye catching,we… Read morePrompt 21: Mosaic
My grief shifts a little every day. It morphs, and changes and moves. Some days it feels much smaller. Other days it feels like it has multiplied exponentially overnight. It has done this from the beginning, even from before there… Read morePrompt 20: Simultaneous Truths
For Sara: I remember how the time flew on our first date, though I don’t remember what all we talked about. I walked away that night already wanting to see you again. I knew you were special. I remember how… Read morePrompt 19: I Remember
To my fellow humans whose souls are carrying the weight of loss,today I bring you a blessing. On days when the weight is so much that you are struggling to breathe, May a hand or a heart or a breeze… Read morePrompt 18: A Blessing
If I close my eyes and look within, I can see a tree where my heart should be. It’s seen better days – it’s had a rough time, over the last year. There are bold, black scorch marks running down… Read morePrompt 16: My Heart Tree
This prompt marks half-way through the writing course I’m participating in. Looking back over 2 weeks of writing, the one thing that I’m realizing is that the writing is helping me really integrate myself, Sara, and George together as a… Read morePrompt 15: Half-Way Reflections
Sara – it hasn’t been that long since you’ve left us. 11 and a half weeks. I’ve spent most of it trying to figure out what to do with myself and how I’m supposed to live without you. If you… Read morePrompt 14: New Home Town
The 13th prompt revolves around placing ourselves in a fairy tale – asking who we are in the tale, how people see us, what gifts we bring. I have to admit that I felt immediate revulsion at the prompt. Fairy… Read morePrompt 13: Fairy Tales
Shortly after Sara died, I posted a link on my facebook page to the music video for the song “The Bones” by Maren Morris. To summarize my earlier thoughts on the song, it was one that brought me great comfort… Read morePrompt 12: Wreckage, The Bones, and other thoughts on my grief at 11 weeks in
Roots are such strange things. They’re usually hidden, underground, but with very few exceptions a plant cannot survive without roots. Some roots are short and fat, others and long and skinny and will snake amazing distances underground. With some plants,… Read morePrompt 11: Roots
Evening falling –a soft lamenting rings in my ears as the pup’s soft whines fill the room.He misses you – and I do too.A warm, grey cable-knit sweaterthat was yourswraps itself around me but I still feel cold. Your love… Read morePrompt 10: Melancholy
Red – it is not a color I have historically associated with much. It feels so bold, so strong. I’m more of a water-color person, give me some nice blues or greens any day. But now, I close my eyes… Read morePrompt 9: Red
This is a “found poem” – created by skimming through and highlighting words or strings of words from a magazine/article/advertisement/etc. To begin a road People passing by move away suffering trauma help eyes up stretch build pain quiet patient waiting… Read morePrompt 7: Found Poetry
My dear Sara always encouraged people to be gentle with themselves. This is something I tried to remind people of in the immediate time after her death. Sara was someone who was so good at encouraging this of others, but… Read morePrompt 6: Hereafter Kind
I have a new roommate. He is very unexpected, but his residence with me is now permanent. Some days he just won’t leave me alone – following me around at home, communicating with me while I’m at work. I find… Read morePrompt 5: My New Roommate
It’s 9 am on a Tuesday; I’ve been at work for an hour, and I’m breathing in the rich scent of my second cup of coffee. I think about how over the past few years you quit drinking coffee for… Read morePrompt 4: 9am on Tuesday
I know where I live. I live in a world that is upside down. I’m supposed to be married. On this day, we were supposed to be home together, cuddling our newborn baby, who was supposed to be about a… Read morePrompt 3: I Know Where I Live
I’ve tried to be pretty transparent about my grief. It’s felt like the only way I could keep living – I can’t just pretend to be okay when I am so, so far from being okay. But even with my… Read morePrompt 2: What doesn’t show…
There is no one at home to speak my name anymore. Names for me often included Sweetheart, Trent, Love, My Person, Honey, Sexy Man… Now there’s silence. I used to be your Sous-Chef – the kitchen was your domain. I… Read morePrompt 1: There is No One at Home to Speak My Name